Skip to main content

What is leaving really like

Once you decide to leave a city

You imagine all the final goodbyes

And what they’ll feel like

Much much before your last day arrives.

You make a mental list or a tangible one

Of all the places to revisit

And the people to meet

So many memories to celebrate

And moments to regreet.


You smile in the distance imagining

What those people may say

And what you may say in return

Almost looking forward to

The teary smiles and warm hugs

And you wonder whether

Those who have wronged you

Will come clean and apologise

You wipe away a tear when you realise

How everyone will wish

There was still some more time.


But there isn’t.


And you struggle to find space

For every promised catchup

And the new ones who casually said

“We must meet before you leave”

Some evenings you want to pause

Skip dinner and get early to bed

But the days are already too brief

And you can’t afford any regrets.


As the final week draws close

You notice the other lasts

The last time you cross 

The city’s bustling market

Or find a spot next to the sea

Your last bill at this cafe

Or for the weekly grocery.

The last Monday morning, Tuesday meeting, 

Wednesday hairwash and the Thursday before 

The final day to work.


The last rickshaw ride to office

And now you pause to savour it all

Seeking things you once loved

LIke the tiny bell on the juice stall.

But there’s so much more to see

That you rushed by ever since

Yet nothing stops, nobody pauses

Chasing their next deadline

Or planning a party after a dull week.


When the final day arrives

You still have bags to pack

And belongings to return

Luggage to weigh again

A final final time

Sleeping without a bedsheet

On your closing night

You wake up in the middle

To add that small something 

Impossible to leave behind.


As you wait for the cab

You turn around a final time

To look for your favourite guard

But he is off duty today

The dog you often feed

Is sleeping in the shade.

So you head to the airport

With a fresh set of eyes

As people rush by

To catch another flight


You greet the crew member

She greets the one behind

You look at the city

One final time

Before the passenger in front

Blocks the Sun shining bright


And that’s what, leaving is really like.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Wanted to be a Candle

I wanted to be a candle Bright with a flame Lighting up the face Of the movement. I wanted to be a candle Ablaze inbetween fingers Of a fiery envoy Of justice. I wanted to be a candle Alight all its life The harbinger of light In dark times. I wanted to be a candle I had felt the fire inside But when I looked into a mirror I saw a Matchbox instead. My small colourful self Carries not one but several flames Matchsticks for each occasion For every injustice in the way. My fire is contagious It is the spark before the flame I am meant to light the candles I was born to inspire the change.

Death

I always kissed him  On the forehead Before going away To school, to college, to Mumbai. Always kissed him goodbye Except now When I was home And he lay in the vault downstairs With a cannula in his leg And a drip hanging above Death Is ugly. He wouldn’t let  Any outsider touch him But today someone Shaved his leg To find a vein For the needle Someone who was assured That he wouldn’t bite He can hardly move I wished for a moment That he would fight Like he used to With dignity But death Strips it all apart. When I watched him  Gasping for breath It wasn’t with the hope That he doesn’t give up But with the desire To see his breathing get normal Again. Normal Is what we call a situation That is regular yet so perfect That it can easily Be taken for granted Until it ceases  To exist. We knew death was looming Although nobody spoke of it I knew we all wanted What was best for him With the hope